Check out some of the interesting calls that the Greeley-Evans Police responded to between January 4 and January 9, 2016. You really can’t make this stuff up.

Monday, January 4

1:15 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 3100 block of 52nd Avenue for a report of someone breaking into the caller’s house and purposefully piping in fumes to make the caller and his mother sick.

5:15 p.m.: Greeley police responded to U-Pump-It, 1225 7th Ave., because a woman wanted to talk to the police after accidentally pulling the gas pump handle off of the pump station when she drove away with it still attached to her car.

Tuesday, January 5

11:15 a.m.: Greeley police responded to the 4300 block of 9th Street for a report of an elderly woman’s garage door that had been open for three days.

6 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 200 block of 34th Avenue Court after a 3-year-old child called and kept talking on the phone. When asked to speak to the caller’s parents, the child said “yupp” and continued talking. The child hung up and called two more times, saying, “Daddy was in the kitchen,” then hung up.

6:15 p.m.: Greeley police responded to Centennial Health Care, 1637 19th Ave., for a report of one patient slapping another patient’s hand. No one was injured.

Wednesday, January 6

9:30 a.m.: Greeley police received a report of a man on 9th Avenue carrying bolt cutters. The caller thought he looked suspicious and might be searching for something to break into.

Thursday, January 7

11:45 a.m.: Greeley police responded to the 2000 block of 8th Avenue on a report of a man scraping the paint off a nice bike with a machete.

12:45 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 2600 block of Belair Lane on a report of three teenagers trying to hide behind a tree, smoking and being “comically loud.”

7 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 1000 block of C Street on a report of a neighbor bringing home homeless people who shouldn’t be there. The caller said she lives alone and worried the homeless people may try to do something to her.

10 p.m.: Greeley police responded to Ross Dress for Less, 4520 Centerplace Dr., for a report of a man who came out of nowhere, swinging his arms above his head in quick motions, pulling his jacket on and off, and laughing to himself. The caller said the man was acting “peculiar.”

Friday, January 8

Midnight: Greeley police received a call from a man on the 900 block of 8th Avenue who saw a police officer not use his turn signal three times. The caller wanted to speak to a sergeant.

8:15 a.m.: Greeley police received a report from the 100 block of North 50th Avenue of a phone call from “God.” The caller said a man called him claiming to be the “one true father,” then said he was the caller’s mother, even though it was obviously a man’s voice.

11:15 a.m.: Greeley police responded to Subway, 1011 9th Ave., on a report of an older transient man who drools incessantly.

11:30 p.m.: Greeley police received a call from a screaming woman. When asked to verify her address the woman screamed, “I don’t (expletive) know,” and hung up.

Saturday, January 9

6:30 a.m.: Greeley police responded to the 2600 block of 1st Street because the caller’s son wasn’t respecting him and refusing to do what he was told to.