Merry Christmas! Your in-laws are here, and now you want to hide. I don't have any of those because that's a perk of being single (#whosjealousofwhonow?), but I've consulted some experts who I will maybe leave anonymous. 

Nah, I'm kidding. I'm a journalism B.A. (badass) grad, so I always protect my sources. But, if that eggnog just isn't strong enough to numb the procreators of your dearly beloved, here's where our staff recommends seeking shelter.

And most of them involve alcohol.

  • The Biergarten at Anheuser-Busch

    It's far enough away, but still close enough if I needed to get home fast.

    As in, they notice that he's fled.

    Ryan McVay/ThinkStock
  • Pinball Jones or Social

    I think I just really like the idea of hiding underground.

    Jupiterimages/ThinkStock
  • Up the... what?

    Up the canyon.

    - As in, up the Poudre?

    Yep. Hidin' up the Poudre.

    - That sounds so wrong.

    Matt Gibson/ThinkStock
  • Downtown Windsor

    No one will be there during the holidays.

    Seriously, it's like an old western movie at high noon.

    Three Lions/Getty Images
  • The Steak-Out Saloon

    They're open a lot of holiday eves.

    Peter Kim/ThinkStock
  • Work

    It's an easy out. "Oh no! The automation system crashed... gotta go!"

    Hemera Technologies/ThinkStock