So the political election right now is a disaster, so let's ignore that for a moment and vote on something that really does not have any importance whatsoever. 

If our cities had mascots, based on local legends or things we have an abundance of, what would that be? Tell us your vote in the comments.


Shelby Taylor-Thorn/TSM

The Choice City Squirrels -- Because they are EVERYWHERE. Not to mention, we'll swerve into traffic to avoid killing one, they demand we give them our food and they don't pay the astronomical rent that we do and yet they live in our yards. THEY'RE A BUNCH OF FREELOADERS. You tell me who is really in charge, us.... or them?

The Fort Collins Beards --  This, of course, would be represented by none other than Tony Frank. No one ever really talks about '-tony' as much as they do that beard. I don't think there is any iconic facial hair in history quite as well-known as his.

OK, I can think of one, but that was really bad and we're not going to go there... and no, I don't mean Charlie Chaplin.

The FoCo Subaru Outbacks -- They basically already own us. I think this is really just a great sponsorship opportunity that hasn't been taken advantage of yet.


Dave Jensen/TSM

The Loveland Valentines -- OK, that's fairly obvious, but it's sweet, and let's people know, 'NO, we are NOT the ski resort.'

The Sweetheart City Sculptors -- You've got to admit, there is no shortage of metal art in that town.

The East Eisenhower Hatchet Man -- Sure, the 'hatchet man' is kind of already the a mascot, if you will, but I mean, half of the town's population already has the tattoo and bumper sticker (Do they come in a Juggalo starter kit or something?) so why not just kill two birds with one uh, hatchet?

-- GREELEY -- 

Steve Byland/ThinkStock

The Greeley Gre-lebrities -- Any one else notice the abundance of guys who hang around the Moxi Theater in Greeley with great hair and black-rimmed glasses? I can name five off the top of my head right now. If you haven't, find one of those BandWagon Magazine boxes downtown, and wait five minutes. They would represent a cool, trendy new age Greeley.

The Platte Valley Potholes -- Sure, Fort Collins has most of the pot heads. But, when your it comes to road damage that out-numbers your population? Yeah, that's all you, Greeley.

The Rattle Snake Kates -- One of those guys who stands by the BandWagon boxes downtown told me about local icon, Rattle Snake Kate, who made a dress out of the skin of 50 rattlesnakes. Damn girl.