Need some entertainment for the day? Check out some of the interesting calls that the Greeley-Evans Police responded to between October 23 and November 2, 2015. You really can’t make this stuff up.

Friday, October 23

8:45 a.m.: Greeley police responded to the 200 block of 10th Street for a report of a man who found an eyeball in his front yard. The man did not know if it was a human eyeball or an animal eyeball, but he poked it with a stick and was certain it was an eyeball. The man told dispatchers he opted to poke the eyeball with a stick, so not to get his hands dirty. Officers responded to the scene and were able to determine the eyeball belonged to a goat. The man’s neighbor cooks goats, including the head.

Noon: A man called Weld County Dispatch upset that Greeley police had not acted on his earlier tip about a pair of transients smoking meth at a motel in the 100 block of 8th Avenue. “You guys lost out on your little window,” the caller said, according to dispatch records. “You guys haven’t acted on it, so now it’s going to be taken care of.” When asked what he meant by “taken care of,” the man replied, “Don’t worry about it, it’s done.” Police requested dispatch locate the name of the caller, so they could contact him.

Saturday, October 24

5:30 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 4700 block of 10th Street for a report of a motorist flipping off a resident. The caller told dispatchers the other car pulled into a nearby brewery “probably to purchase booze.”

9:30 p.m.: A local resident called dispatchers to see if her son who is on probation in California can travel home to Colorado for the holidays. Police ran a check on the woman’s son and determined that he did not have any probation hits. The woman told police she had already tried to contact law enforcement in California and that officials there “were not as nice as you guys in Colorado.”

Friday, October 30

5:45 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 2500 block of 15th Avenue for a report of a litter of puppies outside in the cold. The caller wanted police to give her permission to go into the yard and save them.

6 p.m.: A resident called dispatchers asking to talk to a “good sergeant because the rest of them are going to get fired.”

Saturday, October 31

2:30 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 6600 block of 10th Street for a report of a man who demanded a nurse supply him with marijuana or else he’d have flashbacks and “they’re not going to be good.”

2:45 p.m.: Greeley police responded to a car wash in the 2500 block of 11th Avenue for a report of an elderly man who frequents the business to check out younger women.

Sunday, November 1

4 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 1800 block of 16th Street for a man undressing in a hospital parking lot. The man had just been discharged and decided to take his clothes off, so he’d be taken back to jail.

Monday, November 2

5:15 a.m.: Greeley police responded to 24th Street Road for a report of a stolen car. The caller told dispatchers he walked outside to get into his car to go to work but it wasn’t in his driveway. Police helped the man locate his pickup, which was parked at his next door neighbor’s house.